November 5th, 2008 by hannah
One of the problems with the Shake situation is that apparently the community never came to consensus about him coming to live at Kanawi. I’m the recorder for community meetings, and even I don’t know how that happened. It’s crazy. And a lot of people are still very angry.
I am, on the other hand, worried. Danny and I are thinking about moving in together, which means that he would join the Kanawi community. I can’t imagine living anywhere else. But with the atmosphere the way it is, I don’t think the community would allow anyone to join right now. We aren’t on a timeline; there’s no reason it has to happen soon. But I would rather that Danny be evaluated on his merits (which are many) rather than in reaction to a situation with someone else entirely.
“When the winds of change blow, some people build walls and others build windmills.” –Chinese proverb
November 1st, 2008 by hannah
Last night Kanawi had its annual Halloween/Samhain party. I dressed up as an old-fashioned nurse, complete with cap. My primary, Danny, is a medical resident, so he thought this was particularly funny. The party went well overall, but it ended up being somewhat awkward for me because my two partners, Danny and Garrett, were both there.
The two guys get along with each other fine. That’s not the issue at all. Rather, I felt at times like I was being pulled in two different directions, wanting to keep both of them happy, but not able to be in multiple places at once. Garrett and I have only been dating for a month and a half or so, and it’s only in the last couple of weeks that things have really started to heat up and get well into NRE (new relationship energy) territory. Danny and I have been dating for more than two years, on the other hand, so we’re kind of like an old married couple. Besides duration, the two relationships are very different in other ways, which compounded the issue. The dissonance was mostly in my head—I don’t think that other people noticed anything weird.
If Danny ends up moving into Kanawi, as he and I have discussed, and Garrett (who already lives in Kanawi) and I keep dating, then this sort of situation will arise more frequently. I hope it becomes easier over time.
“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” –Carl Jung
October 29th, 2008 by hannah
In the past few days I’ve been poking around travel websites, dreaming of trips I could take. I’m feeling the itch to explore.
I did a lot of traveling in the year after I graduated from college. I had wanted to take a gap year before going to the university, but my parents were afraid that if I didn’t go to college immediately that I never would. (Oh ye of little faith!) The compromise was that I could take some time off to travel after graduation. I spent three months in India deepening my yoga practice and learning from the masters. I also hiked the Pacific Coast Trail, visited some friends on the East Coast (D.C./Boston), and went to Italy with my parents.
It’s funny—I discovered the Kanawi Community as a senior in college, so a lot of the time that I was getting to know everyone and deciding whether I wanted to live here I was bopping in and out of the Pacific Northwest. But it was meant to be, and so here I am.
So anyway, here are some places I’m considering:
- A tour of Civil War sites in the South
- Scottish Highlands
- New Zealand—I admit to being a Lord of the Rings groupie.
- Appalachian Trail
- One of the major walking routes in Europe: Camino de Santiago, Pennine Way, etc.
“One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.” - Henry Miller
October 25th, 2008 by hannah
As Bernie mentioned, we had an incredibly long community meeting about the situation with Shake. Long meetings are not uncommon here, and achieving consensus is really important to the community running as well as it does. However, it’s still difficult to listen to people argue for hours on end while we try to make sure that all voices are heard.
One way I cope with the meetings is by doing yoga while everyone is talking. I am responsible for taking notes during meetings—one of the ways I contribute to the community—which reduces the poses I can reasonably do. But even sitting in lotus or standing at the table in a lunge while I type on the laptop can be helpful. I challenge you to try it: the next time you’re involved in a difficult discussion, find a pose that feels good and allows you to keep talking, Or, if you can, take a five minute break to spend some time in child’s pose or downward dog. Just a little bit of getting in tune with your breath and body can make a world of difference.
“A photographer gets people to pose for him. A yoga instructor gets people to pose for themselves.” –T. Guillemets
October 23rd, 2008 by hannah
Regarding the situation with Shake: I don’t know Shake. But I do know Logan. And while he loves playing practical jokes on people, I don’t think he would knowingly expose the entire community to a drug night after night. One pan of special brownies, sure—but he’d be laughing at us the next morning. I think that everything has been blown way out of proportion. The fact is, Shake is a darn good cook.
“A good cook is the peculiar gift of the gods. He must be a perfect creature from the brain to the palate, from the palate to the finger’s end.” –Walter Savage Landor
October 21st, 2008 by hannah
Today I got up just before sunrise, threw on a pair of sweats, and walked up to the lake. As the sun rose I went through a series of standing poses—mountain, warrior I, warrior II, warrior III, tree, triangle, and so on. I moved slowly, resting in each one, feeling my breath fill me from the tips of my toes to the tips of my fingers. I felt myself awaken with both the movement and the stillness, gradually growing brighter as the light increased.
About halfway through my practice I felt someone come to stand behind me, following my movements. I almost changed “felt” to “heard,” but felt is more correct—not only my hearing was involved, but a greater awareness. I never saw my impromptu student; he or she crept away while I was in my final mountain pose. I have my suspicions, of course, but the student’s identity does not matter. It only matters that I have helped someone else in their yoga, if only for a short time.
“Before you’ve practiced, the theory is useless. After you’ve practiced, the theory is obvious.” –David Williams, Ashtanga yoga teacher
October 19th, 2008 by hannah
Welcome to my blog! Thanks to Bernie and Belle for encouraging me to start it. I intend to use this blog to share with people my views on the community, on relationships, and on yoga. These views are not always the same as Bernie and Belle’s, so I hope my writing will spur conversation. I also expect that writing this blog will help me to better understand myself.
Some background: I’m Hannah, and I’ve lived in Kanawi since 2005. I’m a yoga instructor, doula, and aspiring midwife. I primarily teach Hatha yoga, with some Vinyasa and prenatal thrown into the mix. Like many people at Kanawi, I am polyamorous. I’m currently dating two wonderful men.
“Knowing others is intelligence. Knowing yourself is true wisdom.” –Lao Tse