Jello-sy indeed!

I just got a chance to listen to the latest episode of the podcast. Wow, so much I want to say. For now, though, let me state, as clearly as I can:

I am not interested in dating Tina. I am not trying to steal her away from Belle. Tina is lovely and great and I value her friendship, but I don’t like her like that. (I feel like I’m in middle school.) I don’t know what crack Belle is smoking, but she’s wrong about Tina and me.

However, if Tina and I were interested in each other, then that would and should be okay. It is extremely unfair for one person in a polyamorous relationship to have multiple partners while prohibiting their partners from dating anyone else. If a person chooses to have a single relationship while their partner has multiple relationships, that’s one thing. I also believe in primaries having some amount of veto power. But polyamory is not maintaining a harem.

 

“If one does not wish bonds broken, one should make them elastic and thereby strengthen them.” –Ardant du Picq

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4 Responses to “Jello-sy indeed!”

  1. bernie Says:

    Are you sure that you’re not even a little bit interested in Tina? I mean, I know that I often find myself being sad that she’s a lesbian.

  2. Sidney Says:

    Polyamory is not arbitrarily deciding to switch who your primary is, either.

  3. Belle Says:

    What would and should be okay with you is irrelevant to my relationships. I reject the implication that I’m being unfair, controlling, and keeping a harem. Tina, Ted and I are in a polyfi, which means that we have all agreed to live this way, because it meets our collective needs. Fairness in relationships does not really exist, anyway, because each person has different needs, so how can you really calculate what is fair? Regardless, polyamory is most definitely not about breaking agreements or relationship boundaries, which is what happened with the Jello, fair or not.

  4. hannah Says:

    Bernie: No, I’m not interested in Tina as more than a friend. Really. I promise.

    Sidney: I’m not discussing that with you here.